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 When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer? 
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Chris Chantler wrote:
In fact I'm a perfectly well-adjusted and well-balanced individual.

Chantler has just jumped to the head of this year's "Funniest Poster" stakes.

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Fri May 27, 2011 8:30 am
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Raping someone to the point where they actually shit themselves might fit into Kenneth Clarke's 'serious rape' category.


Fri May 27, 2011 1:38 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Termoid wrote:
Raping someone to the point where they actually shit themselves might fit into Kenneth Clarke's 'serious rape' category.


Yet, at the same time, it would cause the situation to descend into slapstick.


Fri May 27, 2011 5:14 pm
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Fluffy Bunny Rabbit
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Just for the record, I don't like the way this thread has gone from Chantler-praise to downright rapetastic.

No rapes. Just strolls in the woods. Hand holding optional.


Fri May 27, 2011 6:03 pm
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Diabolical Dr Dee wrote:
Termoid wrote:
Raping someone to the point where they actually shit themselves might fit into Kenneth Clarke's 'serious rape' category.


Yet, at the same time, it would cause the situation to descend into slapstick.


Is 'slapstick' the right word? I'm sure Paul Merton remembers the short film where Buster Keaton violates a woman until her rectum prolapses.

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Fri May 27, 2011 6:08 pm
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Chris Chantler wrote:
Diabolical Dr Dee wrote:
Termoid wrote:
Raping someone to the point where they actually shit themselves might fit into Kenneth Clarke's 'serious rape' category.


Yet, at the same time, it would cause the situation to descend into slapstick.


Is 'slapstick' the right word? I'm sure Paul Merton remembers the short film where Buster Keaton violates a woman until her rectum prolapses.


Do you know the name of the film?


Fri May 27, 2011 6:18 pm
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Star Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Pest From The West? Mooching Through Georgia? So You Won't Squawk? Not sure. Although he did a film called His Ex Marks The Spot, which is a brilliant title as long as it's about him killing and burying his ex-girlfriend.

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Fri May 27, 2011 6:54 pm
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
I'll look into it.


Fri May 27, 2011 7:32 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Buster Keaton > Charlie Chaplin.

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Fri May 27, 2011 10:25 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Becky wrote:
Ohhh I missed this Chantler-praise thread! I would have joined in!

I love him and his grumpy face. I'd like to go for a walk in the woods with him.

the rozzers have forbidden him from going for walks in the woods with girls becky, after what happened last time n all

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Sat May 28, 2011 9:09 am
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
do you think it is possible for someone to cause another to shit themselves violently simply from holding hands?

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Sat May 28, 2011 9:12 am
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Star Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
For goodnesses sake Steve, I'd managed to turn this from a horrid rapey accusation thread to a conversation about silent comedies. But in answer to your second point, I suppose if you're secretly really in love with somebody and very nervous in their presence, the moment they took your hand you might feasibly follow through. That's quite nice and romantic at least.

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Sat May 28, 2011 12:06 pm
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Space Ranger
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Following through is just some people's way of showing affection.


Sat May 28, 2011 12:44 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
You could be wearing a glove coated in extremely fast acting contact-laxative.


Sun May 29, 2011 9:27 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
i nolonger feel comfortable in any of your pressence's
especially you ritchie, your love of scat is just not healthy,nor is it english.
you shame your country ritchie,and you shame hogwarts

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Mon May 30, 2011 9:11 am
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Good reviews, Christophe

Surprised with the Draconian Times (7), but well justified and I agree with you on Side 2 being mainly filler...

Good start to the MH 'career', look forward to seeing some more in the future.

100% agreed with the Ulver review too


Mon May 30, 2011 10:34 am
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
I'll stick this here.

Chris, you mentioned "Englander" by Solstice being on a demo before. There are 3 Solstice demos as far as I'm aware; MCMXCII, Ragnarok and As Empires Fall but it's not on any of those. I see they have an Englander 10" out. Is that what you meant?


Mon May 30, 2011 11:29 am
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Cheers Steve - my next batch of reviews is basically entirely negative, so I may have queered my pitch too soon at the new mag! I've reviewed MDB, Sourvein and Zombi and been pretty grumpy about each, and they're all on big bread-and-butter labels. But they are all mediocre efforts, especially that Zombi, I mean I get what it's supposed to do, I get all the reference points, I just think it fails.

As for 'Englander', well that must have been a while ago! As far as I know there was a non-release rehearsal demo of 'Englander' and an instrumental called 'Aequinoctium II' that I was lucky enough to be sent by Mr Rich Walker when he very kindly did me a tape of obscure NWOBHM singles in about the year 2000, which was a cassette of supreme importance to me. I dunno anything about this 10" you mention, but obviously the song was reworked as 'Mighty And Superior' for the ISEN TORR 10". I gather the next SOLSTICE album will be called 'Englander', although I've been a bit out of the SOLSTICE loop for ages. But then, so have SOLSTICE.

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Mon May 30, 2011 3:12 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
Thanks, Chris. The Englander 10" is listed as a 2002 release on lastfm. I haven't heard it and don't know if the song of the same name is on it or not. I found a download of that Isen Torr Mighty & Superior release, which you recommended ages ago. The title track, The Theomachist along with an instrumental version of that are what's on it. I can only presume the Englander song isn't available to Joe Public unfortunately.


Mon May 30, 2011 5:07 pm
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: When did Chantler start writing for Metal Hammer?
steevXIII wrote:
Draconian Times (7)

That's only correct if you're rating out of five.

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Mon May 30, 2011 7:43 pm
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