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 The 'I am a dumb shit sometimes' thread 
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Space Ranger
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
hostilesteve wrote:
hahahah i get nervous talking to girls i like, normally end up saying ' corrr dont you have nice boobs' or something


yeah, us girls know that though. I find it always highly amusing when someone comes out with funny stuff like that!

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Last edited by Sinmara on Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:45 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Sinmara wrote:
hostilesteve wrote:
hahahah i get nervous talking to girls i like, normally end up saying ' corrr dont you have nice boobs' or something


yeah, us girls know that though. I find that always highly amusing when someone comes out with funny stuff like that!

hahahah win..

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:48 pm
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Let a girlfriend blindfold me so she could smear fresh double cream all over my danglies.

She used Immac.

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:17 pm
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
I now re-read that post with -4.32 to -4.25 of 'Angel of Death' playing over it.

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:26 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Richie H-R wrote:
I once knew someone who wiped his arse with Flash wipes. You could hear it for miles.


I did that once, I didn't scream, but I didn't do it again.

This thread is amazing, the only other thing I can think of is going for a wee after cutting chillis. That was bad enough I can't imagine what the wank was like.


Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:37 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Richie H-R wrote:
I once knew someone who wiped his arse with Flash wipes. You could hear it for miles.


I have also done this.

In my more gothy days I once used spray mount instead of hairspray when tarting myself up for a night out. My hair looked pretty good but it was quite hard getting my hat off.

I say 'once', I did this several times.

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WarrenSchofield wrote:
FULL OF HARD COCKS!

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I'd do Barbara Windsor.


Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:38 pm
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Space Ranger
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Enos wrote:

In my more gothy days I once used spray mount instead of hairspray when tarting myself up for a night out. My hair looked pretty good but it was quite hard getting my hat off.

I say 'once', I did this several times.


:lol:

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:40 pm
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Climate Control
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
First time I had my ear pierced, I was putting in a ring and the leading end went astray on the way through, which was bloody painful. I roared and punched the wall in front of me, forgetting that I wasin front of a big mirror.It shattered and as a huge shard was falling, I reflexively (sp?) went to catch it. The result is obvious, thankfully that was the only time I've seen one of my own bones.

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:46 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
When I had my nose pierced I put a ring in but ballsed up and ended up ramming it into the inside of my nose and hit a nerve. I looked like this for a bit....

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WarrenSchofield wrote:
FULL OF HARD COCKS!

Zagreus wrote:
I'd do Barbara Windsor.


Sun Apr 03, 2011 5:49 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
i once forgot a nail gun was loaded and negligently put 7/8 nails into my thigh.

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:35 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Did you have any more sympathy for Jesus and what the Jooz did to him after that incident?


Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:40 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
robitusson wrote:
Did you have any more sympathy for Jesus and what the Jooz did to him after that incident?

not really, i pulled em out,stuck plasters over the holes and carried on working, none of this hanging around or winging that he did....the big jessie

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:50 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Stevo, you seem to live in some bizzare, tragi-comic action film type world. You are my new hero.


Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:53 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Dreadful Doctor Dee wrote:
Stevo, you seem to live in some bizzare, tragi-comic action film type world. You are my new hero.

they dont call me steve for nuffin mate. :P

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:59 pm
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
hostilesteve wrote:
Dreadful Doctor Dee wrote:
Stevo, you seem to live in some bizzare, tragi-comic action film type world. You are my new hero.

they dont call me steve for nuffin mate. :P


Do they call you Steve because it's the name your parents gave you?


Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:05 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
no, because thats what is written on my pants actually

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:10 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
i am building a flame thrower

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:22 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
I'm assuming that next weeks posts will be from the burns unit of your local hospital?


Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:26 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
quite possibly yes. i was just saying to some mates on fb how badly the home made mortar tube was, and how a mate lost all his fingers......

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Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:35 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Dreadful Doctor Dee wrote:
I'm assuming that next weeks posts will be from the burns unit of your local hospital?


A mate of mine decided that he was going to become a 'fire performer'. He spent a few months practising and then decided to get some proper shows, so another mate's sister was going out with one of the local Outlaws and got him a gig at their clubhouse. My mate was in a bit of a rush when he left the house and made a couple of major errors when getting his stuff together.

The show starts up and the audience is made up of terrifying bikers. My mate comes on stage and gives his spiel and starts the show by blowing a massive flame out towards the audience. It turned out that the first mistake he made in his haste to leave the house was to pick up lighter fluid instead of white spirit. This meant that the petrol run down his face and set fire to his chin. He managed to put out the fire and carried on in agony saying things like 'it's all part of the show lads'. The bikers thought this was hilarious.

Anyway, the show continues and reaches it's climax. The big finally was that my mate would throw the burning fire clubs in the air and then catch them in his leather trousers and extinguish them. This is when he realised, with a club plummeting towards his groin, that the second error he'd made in his haste to leave was to pick up PVC leather look trousers rather than actual leather ones. This meant that when the burning club landed in his trousers rather than the flames being smothered the trousers melted to his inner thigh and testicles. He still finished the show with more shouts of 'it's all part of the show' and then hobbled off to the car and rushed off to hospital where the peeled his melted trousers from his scorched gonads.

The bikers thought it was the best thing ever and asked him back. He declined the offer.

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WarrenSchofield wrote:
FULL OF HARD COCKS!

Zagreus wrote:
I'd do Barbara Windsor.


Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:35 pm
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