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 The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread. 
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Climate Control
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
please fuck off you utter tool, i dont care about your pain or woes, you are from teeside

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Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:29 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
You selfish fucking PD cunt. Of all the times to abscond and say you've taken an overdose (which I really suspect you didn't) you do it when an elderly lady is being moved by paramedics.

Really selfish, and a really stupid way to try to stay in hospital. Off you go to a shit NHS one then. Twat.

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Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:41 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
How is it possible that grown men get confused and flustered by a fucking curtain?

You fucking stupid soft whingeing cunts.


Fri Aug 29, 2014 1:09 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Was it your dream to work in theatre, Wretch?


Fri Aug 29, 2014 10:12 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
No, not really. It would be a right laugh if it wasn't for the odd moron though, and I enjoy the organising side of things, making sure things run as smoothly as possible etc.

Most people are grand to be fair, and are just interested in doing a good job, but there is always one or two idiots a show, either acting, or behind the scenes. Generally either a cocky young fella, or a miserable auld bitch. And the smaller the production, the bigger the headaches, because you have a mix of inexperience, and that sort of person who likes to be seen to be involved, but doesn't actually want to do anything.

This time though, it seems that several of the cast are complaining about the curtain, how dark and cramped it is, it is putting them off and they are missing their cues etc. I mean, we all have to work in the same space and most people get on with it. It is a small venue, which they have been rehearsing in for the last week, so there is no point coming to me at this point to move the curtains or something fucking stupid like that. That is not my responsibility anyway. Walk the set, get familiar, and shut the fuck up.


Fri Aug 29, 2014 12:50 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
I enjoyed designing posters and programs and painting some sets and props for Joseph and his dreamcoat bollocks. Never been involved in anything since though. The final night we had a lock in in the pub and a massive drunken row erupted between the producer and pretty much everyone else involved. She called Joesph a cunt and told me to go fuck myself. She was all apologies come Monday but still she made a right show of herself.


Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:33 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
That shit always happens. It isn't too bad if it is the wrap party, but when they go for a drink during the week, it is asking for trouble. Sore heads and resentment do not make for a good show.

Both myself and the director had words with several people before tonight's performance (actors, front of house staff) so things went smoothly. To be fair, most of the people involved with this group, actors included, are pretty easy going, if occasionally a bit dim, so it is a lot easier than other shows, although musicals, for all of the drama queen bullshit that goes with them, are really well run so our job is easy in that respect, once the show starts you just get on with it.

In some though, the actors come up and ask stupid questions at the last minute or whine about something - "That table/chair/random tiny inconsequential prop will have to move, its awkward for me" so I either ignore them, or say "there is nowhere else for it to go, I don't have room", and they usually slink off. Ask twice, and you get a "fuck off".

I mean, in a bigger production with a lot of set changes you usually have 5 - 10 seconds per change, 15 at most, and even in a small show if there is an interval it is 15 minutes, and you have to change a whole set, you barely have time to piss between acts, and they want you to hold their hand and tailor everything to their specific needs, or they want the crew to go get them something to eat or drink, which is not our job, so again, they are told to fuck off, there are people there for that purpose anyway, and if they aren't doing it properly, it is none of my concern.


Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:26 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Why do you have to make everything so much hard fucking work?

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Tue Sep 09, 2014 7:49 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
"I'll be Jon Snow, you be Ygritte . . ."


Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:34 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
"really Sir/Madam? Oh no! You won't ever buy one of our phones again!? And you'll tell all your friends and family not to either?! Oh that's awful news, let me just inform everyone else in the office that does not work for the people that make your phone but are contracted to support the phone you have ....that we might as well all go home, it's all over, it was fun while it lasted guys but that's it. Mr.Kunteeflaps is never buying one again...."

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Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:07 am
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
^ Haha.

I very briefly worked for a call centre that had a contract with Carphone Warehouse.

I used to quite enjoy telling people, when they complained, that I didn't actually work direct for them and giving them Offcom's details so they could complain.

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Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:00 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Cromwell wrote:
^ Haha.

I very briefly worked for a call centre that had a contract with Carphone Warehouse.

I used to quite enjoy telling people, when they complained, that I didn't actually work direct for them and giving them Offcom's details so they could complain.


"...you're doing something, that is not your fault, that is mine, and that it clearly states in my contract and warranty not to do that I have done.....I'm going to Watchdog!"

I've never called up watched dog but with the amount of times I've heard that I'm sure they have an option in an automated menu "if you are phoning to complain about your "xxx" phone because you've not read the terms and conditions properly please press 9

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Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:06 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Oooof watchdog, I used to work in phones too.

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Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:13 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Really big ones?


Thu Oct 16, 2014 4:08 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Bite your head off, man.

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Thu Oct 16, 2014 7:54 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
"I'd totally date outta my race for you."


Thu Oct 16, 2014 8:13 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Shove your spot checks up your massively retentive poo shoot ya cunt!


Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:59 am
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Lifer, Deather, Hesher, Whatever.
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
Cilla Blacks just died aged 72... Surprise surprise!!!

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Sun Aug 02, 2015 12:55 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
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Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:48 pm
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Post Re: The "Things you really want to say, but can't" Thread.
oneleggedpunk wrote:
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Fucking brilliant!!

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Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:50 pm
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