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 Things you really shouldn't have said, but did. 
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Opinionated Loudmouth. Perkele!
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Post Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
When somebody shouts

'Your pork, do you want it pulled?'

from the kitchen, then there can really only be one answer, inappropriate or not. I am now in the bad books with just about everybody. Totally worth it though.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:25 am
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Haha, great opening to a thread.

One I was thinking of today. Not as Carry On as yours, but I'll own up to it anyway.

I eventually got a girl I was besotted with to go out with me. We were at her's late and I was drunk. She was still hung up on her ex, but hey, she's stunning. "Would you like to sleep with me?" she says in an incredibly sexy way during some fumbling. "Do you have a condom?" she says...

"No. How about anal?" I say.

Totally killed the moment, and she never slept with me.

We're still good mates, and I've never had the guts to apologise! One of the few things I regret as I still worry she took offence. That was over ten years ago!

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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:29 pm
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Arisen wrote:
When somebody shouts

'Your pork, do you want it pulled?'

from the kitchen, then there can really only be one answer, inappropriate or not. I am now in the bad books with just about everybody. Totally worth it though.


Fuck me, don't people have any sense of humour anymore?

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:36 pm
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Cromwell wrote:
I eventually got a girl I was besotted with to go out with me. We were at her's late and I was drunk. She was still hung up on her ex, but hey, she's stunning. "Would you like to sleep with me?" she says in an incredibly sexy way during some fumbling. "Do you have a condom?" she says...

"No. How about anal?" I say.

Totally killed the moment, and she never slept with me.

We're still good mates, and I've never had the guts to apologise! One of the few things I regret as I still worry she took offence. That was over ten years ago!


If she took offence, so what, she could have still give you a wank.

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:38 pm
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
oneleggedpunk wrote:
If she took offence, so what, she could have still give you a wank.


That was the problem, I killed the moment so much I didn't even get a tug, and all my chomping her out was wasted! Boo!

She has a fella now too. If she becomes single again though, I'm in there like a laser. She has lovely boobs. That's actually what made me think of her earlier...

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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:01 pm
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Cromwell wrote:
all my chomping her out was wasted!


Surely that was enough for you to go home and have a near satisfying wank?

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:05 pm
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Post Re: Thing's you really shouldn't have said, but did.
oneleggedpunk wrote:
Cromwell wrote:
all my chomping her out was wasted!


Surely that was enough for you to go home and have a near satisfying wank?


Like I said, I'm still thinking about her ten years later!

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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:44 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
The one that got away?

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:47 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
They all get away.

Damn them.

Bas has the right idea with basement and chains.

(Yes, I'm totally going back into the rapey bas jokes, you'll never escape the meme mate!)

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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:35 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Cromwell wrote:
you'll never escape the meme mate!


Just like the women in his basement.

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:44 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:06 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
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Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:16 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.

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turdy wrote:
Great tits and slow as fuck doom are Cromwell's Raison d'être.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:10 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
"I know everyone says your sister is the fit one, but I think you are beautiful"

- Never try to chat up a bird when drinking Buckfast and Guinness. You will be a stupid, fidgety, sweaty mess.

"The best thing she ever did was that picture where she is pissing on a fire escape, that was brilliant"

- About Alanis Morrissette at a familiy Christmas party.

"Yeah, just smoke crack and worship Satan instead"

- My drunken advice to a young fella who had just been caught smoking pot by his father. Not the best timing for what was already a poor joke.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:52 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
The Wretch wrote:
"The best thing she ever did was that picture where she is pissing on a fire escape, that was brilliant"

- About Alanis Morrissette at a familiy Christmas party.

:lol: What the fuck?


Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:54 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
"I do".

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Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:58 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
:lol:

Solaris wrote:
The Wretch wrote:
"The best thing she ever did was that picture where she is pissing on a fire escape, that was brilliant"

- About Alanis Morrissette at a familiy Christmas party.

:lol: What the fuck?


There was a picture doing the round in jazz mags years ago, which was supposed to be her taking a piss on a fire escape.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:00 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Fair enough. I'm quite sure I can happily live without seeing that one...

Spiny Norman wrote:
"I do".

:lol:


Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:58 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
Cromwell wrote:
They all get away.

Damn them.

Bas has the right idea with basement and chains.

(Yes, I'm totally going back into the rapey bas jokes, you'll never escape the meme mate!)

I don't mind anymore.


Wed Jul 16, 2014 8:53 pm
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Post Re: Things you really shouldn't have said, but did.
As long as it isn't that bitchy taff saying it, right?


Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:32 am
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