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 Film Thread VI 
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Solaris wrote:
Top Secret is hit & miss, but ultimately enjoyable. The Airplane! and Naked Gun movies are all vastly superior, though.

Spaceballs is utterly unfunny tripe. Plus, it was a payday for that cunt Joan Rivers, so it can fuck off twice.


You forgot Hot Shots in the Airplane/Naked Gun holy trilogy Sol . . . .


Wed Jul 05, 2017 2:42 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I did indeed. I'd put them on a level with TS, though. Hit & miss.

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Wed Jul 05, 2017 2:57 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Solaris wrote:
In The Mouth Of Madness - Good concept, so-so execution, awful music. Felt more like a late '80s horror than mid '90s. Decent last half hour, though. 3/5


Nah that rhythm section is pure post Black album.

It is too 90s po mo to be an 80s films too, and I don't recall any horror film from the 80s being edited that way.

I love the theme music. Has a nice ironic tinge to it. Faux 'heroic'. Epic.

I'd give it a 3.5 to 4. One of my fav horrors of the 90s

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Wed Jul 05, 2017 3:03 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Solaris wrote:
In The Mouth Of Madness - Good concept, so-so execution, awful music. Felt more like a late '80s horror than mid '90s. Decent last half hour, though. 3/5



I always get that film confused with The Serpent And The Rainbow..

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Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:27 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Stat_Rad wrote:
Spaceballs is great. You were a slow kid mate ;)

Spaceballs - that was the name. I see it was released in 1987 so I was older than I thought when I saw it. But I still was naive as to how shit those goofy movies could really be and that one was definitely an awakening.


Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:53 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
School of Rock. Revisited after many years with my 6 year old daughter, and it is a great film, no matter your thoughts on Jack Black. I mean, he tries to introduce Zepellin, Floyd, Sabbath, AC/DC, and Motorhead to pre-teens - what's not to love?


Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:31 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Ludwig: Requiem For a Virgin King

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Easily the best film made about the Bavarian king. Captures his madness, his eccentricity, his romanticism , his financial extravagance and his crucial relationship with Richard Wagner.

Few directors have managed to do so much with so little as Syberberg (Our Hitler). Armed with a small acting troupe, limited props, a rear projection screen and a fog machine, he makes most other film makers who attempt to grapple with history seem like mental midgets by comparison. Ludwig II is presented as a complex figure whose madness/neurosis was deeply rooted in Germanic culture itself, and it's meticulously expressed in Syberberg's stunning signature style of theatrical tableux and glorious artifice.

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Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:37 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Sorry...

ALL THE POLICE ACADEMY MOVIES

There are several things you notice when watching the Police Academy series back to back. First is the seemingly arbitrary way in which characters appear, disappear, and re-appear from film to film without any explanation, another is how on earth they stretched the series out to seven films, and rather more depressingly is noticing how many people in the series have since died. Tackleberry, Commandant Lassard, Hightower, House, Mrs Fackler, and Mrs Feldman among others. It's like watching Dad's Army.

Also, watching the series in HD only serves to highlight the abysmally cheap special effects (model insects, animated fire, shabby blue screen work), mistakes like background actors looking for their marks or doing things ahead of time (watch for the guy who claps twice and then embarrasedly stops himself at the beginning of Part 2), and ADR soundtrack work that doesn't even come close to matching what's happening on the screen.

As you would expect, the original Police Academy sits head and shoulders above the rest of the series. Genuinely funny with likeable/hateable characters, a half decent story, and some quality comedy set-pieces. Okay, you have to willingly turn a blind eye to how Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) gets fired, but still tags along on an assignment without anybody noticing him, gets himself captured and held at gunpoint, yet somehow receives a commendation for his efforts. Forget all that, it's just a great film, and one of the first mainstream comedies (that I remember, anyway) to actively, and immediately, punish racism.
5 Fists

Jesus. How fast can a series fall off a cliff? Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment is terrible. Dismally unfunny, its jokes and set-pieces are lazily regurgitated from the original, and relentless catchphrases and character quirks are driven into the ground. And what's worse, we don't even have the sneering, sneaky Captain Harris to sabotage the good guys. Instead we have Captain Mauser and his sidekick Proctor. Proctor is reasonably amusing, but Mauser is just a cheap imitation of Harris and drags every scene he's involved in down to another level of shit. Meanwhile, big boobed blonde cop, Callahan, has done a disappearing act but nobody seems to notice, while Guttenberg's girlfriend, Karen (Kim Cattrall), and cadets George Martin and Leslie Barbara have all fallen into a big black hole, never to be seen or mentioned again.
2.5 Fists

Salvaging a little bit of credibility, Police Academy 3: Back in Training shows the series how to be funny again. Clearly not as good as the original, it still stands as the series second best entry by quite a distance. Pairing the otherwise annoying Zed with timid and useless Sweetchuck works brilliantly, and even Mauser isn't quite as devastatingly shit this time out. After being omitted from the second film, Callahan, and baddies Blankes and Copeland return, plus there's a funny cameo by Georgina Spelvin, the prostitute who orally pleasured both Commandant Lassard and Mahoney in the original.
4 Fists

With the inevitable decline well and truly back on track, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol tries its best to rescue the series, but fails hard. Mauser has been casually re-replaced by Captain Harris who inexplicably gets to keep Proctor as his own sidekick. Steve Guttenberg's screen time is severely cut, there's a fixation with rap music and skateboarding (watch for the appearance of a young Tony Hawk doubling for an equally young David Spade) and just why Sharon Stone's character even exists is a complete fucking mystery. She does literally nothing throughout the entire film apart from smile and try to look pretty with shit '80s hair. Zed and Sweetchuck are separated for most of the film as Zed gets a girlfriend and the film suffers even more because of it, Copeland returns one last time but without Blankes, and by now, Hooks has totally outstayed her welcome with her one trick pony quiet voice/shouty voice schtick. Even Michael Winslow's funny noises are becoming an irritation by this point. Brian Backer (nerdy Alfred from The Burning) tries to be cool with a skateboard and a lime green shirt but does not succeed.
2.5 Fists

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach is where the decline really gathers pace. Without any mention of his character whatsoever, Steve Guttenberg's Mahoney - the series' biggest name by a distance, is wiped entirely from the memory and replaced with the annoyingly chirpy Matt McCoy. The only thing worth noting about Part 5 is that it's the first film to have been shot in the location the film is actually set. Although the Police Academy universe exists in a nameless, fictitious US city, the first four films were all filmed in and around Toronto, Canada. Accident prone Fackler is the unmentioned absentee this time and the film is an abject disaster from beginning to end.
1.5 Fists

Although the decline is undeniable Police Academy 6: City Under Siege stops the rot briefly by outshining the fifth entry and actually remembering how to be funny every now and again. Yes, it's still pretty terrible but the Mayor is a fun character and Gerrit Graham is always good value. Matt McCoy has been transferred up to the Academy to be with all of the regular characters, but as usual this isn't explained or referred to in the script even slightly. Captain Harris has become a depressingly pale imitation of his character in the first film and Proctor is now borderline retarded.
3 Fists

Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow
No.
1 Fist

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Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:29 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
2 is better than 3 to me. 3 plays like a sitcom. Has its moments though. 6 is a little underrated. They tried to do something different. It is more like a cartoon than the others, but that's ok because it works.

If Guttenberg was in 5 it would have been better.

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Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:49 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
1, 3, 2. That's all you need. I don't think I've seen 5 or 6 more than once and have never seen 7 (4 twice). I don't think 2 is that bad really, but it's definitely the worst of the original trilogy.

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Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:10 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Isolated country houses are fun...



MURDER BY DEATH
(1976)

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A group of famous detectives (all based on fictional creations like Columbo, Poirot etc.) arrive at an isolated country house to win $1m if they solve a murder that hasn't happened yet. Alec Guiness plays the blind butler, Truman Capote plays the owner of the house, and Peter Falk, Peter Sellers, and David Niven are among the obnoxious and unlikable detective guests.

Written by Neil Simon, Murder by Death is a painfully unfunny smugathon. A confused, stupid, unbelievable and completely unfollowable plot starring actors stroking their egos while desperately trying to hog the limelight (the movie's final scene was even cut because the actors objected to being upstaged). Badly acted, dreadfully written, and full of jokes that surely would have fallen on their arses even back in the 1970s, it's difficult to understand why it's held in such high regard.
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THE HOUSE IN NIGHTMARE PARK
(1973)

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Frankie Howerd plays Foster Twelvetrees, an absolutely awful theatre actor who is invited by wealthy estate owner Ray Milland to perform for his family at their isolated country house. Right from his arrival, Twelvetrees notices things are a little "off". Locked rooms, snakes, shrines to Indian gods, and mad relatives are only the start as he slowly, and cluelessly uncovers the truth of his invitation.

Funny, occasionally creepy, and actually possessing a decent story, THINP is hardly vintage Frankie Howerd, but still a decent way to kill ninety minutes. Howerd basically spends the entire time doing his patented Lurcio impression, pulling surprised faces and going "oooh" a lot, but it's sneaky Ray Milland who steals the show.
3 Fists


CLUE
(1985)

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A live action version of the popular board game where someone is killed in an isolated country house, Clue has everything that Murder by Death doesn't. A witty script, decent characters, a followable story, and proper comedic acting by a talented cast clearly having a great time rather than thinking about the money at the end of it.

Tim Curry, Michael McKean, Christopher Lloyd, Madeline Kahn, and Leslie Ann Warren are superb. Even Lee Ving (frontman of seminal US punk band, Fear) who plays the rich Mr. Boddy (get it?) has a great time, even if his acting talents aren't up to much. Eileen Brennan (Private Benjamin), who also appeared in MBD, turns up and fares much better, and Jeffrey Kramer (Jaws) gets to say a few lines before getting offed.

A farce of the highest order, Clue is superb. It's twists make sense to the plot, it's never dull, most of the jokes hit the mark, and the different endings clearly inspired the makers of Wayne's World.
4 Fists

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Thu Jul 13, 2017 2:27 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I thought 5 was alright, had some funny moments.

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Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:52 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Clue was a great and much under rated 80's gem.

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Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:33 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Clue was one of the first films I recorded on video and kept to rewatch. Having said that, I can barely remember anything about it as I haven't watched it for at least twenty years, but I really liked it at the time.

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Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:36 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
recent watches....
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Maniac 2012 version
At least attempted to add new ideas I suppose - the point-of-view camera work, expanding on the brazzer mother backstory, the music. More graphic and gory as expected and more shiny and well-produced too. Obvious problem is Elijah Wood. He's not particularly maniacal at all and not a patch on the original Frank. Too stylised, not scary nor creepy like the original - not as lascivious either despite all the nudity.
2 fists


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Contamination
Ok, there are some space eggs which make people explode and there's a mind-controlling rubber cyclops creature from Mars behind it all. Clearly this movie was just thrown together after somebody involved saw ALIEN. I watched it because Ian McCulloch from Zombi2 was in it and Goblin did the soundtrack - neither of which makes it worthwhile in the slightest.
1 fist


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Payback
From back when Gibson was still in favour and audiences were still charmed by his loveable-rogue onscreen persona. Brian Helgeland trying his hand at directing as well as writing but failing unfortunately. Has lots of style, Gibson just about carries it - but - it's got cliched characters, unfunny attempts at wit & short on thrills.
2 fists


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The Brave One
aka Death Driver or Taxi Wish. Except this time it's a LADY wasting the punks and bad guys!! Basically it goes - exploitative violence...then some introspection and pondering about it all. And so on until the end (which is a pretty silly one). It has some ok nods to Death Wish and Foster is watchable.
2 fists


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The Bunker
A tv movie about Hitler's last days in the titular bunker. Amongst others it has Drax from Moonraker as Bormann, Richard Jordan from Logans Run as Speer & a youthful Anthony Hopkins hamming it up as Hitler with some very transparent acting. Looks very dated now and there are with lots of liberties taken with the characters and what happened. Doesn't really get to the depths of the characters, the events nor the time.
2 fists. Maybe 3 for WW2 pundits


Fri Jul 14, 2017 9:26 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I love the new version of Maniac. Gets better every time I watch it.



WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES

No massive spoilers

Beginning with ape leader, Caesar's, heavily fortified woodland home coming under attack from a platoon of soldiers, War For the Planet of the Apes doesn't hang around getting to the action. After suffering an initial defeat at the hands of their simian foes (and ignoring an offer of peace), a smaller band of soldiers return that night and infiltrate Caesar's camp, but this incursion has a very different outcome.

Having been betrayed by one of their own, Caesar, Rocket, Maurice the orangutan, and Luca the gorilla instruct the tribe to search for a new home while they go off to hunt down the brutal army Colonel (Woody Harrelson) who ordered the attacks.

While tracking the Colonel and his army, the quartet of intelligent primates discover a little girl hiding in an almost deserted outpost. Unable to speak for some reason, she befriends Maurice and joins them. A short while later, the five of them come across a talkative, but very frightened little monkey who knows where the Colonel is heading.

With only one thing on his mind, Caesar leaves his friends but is captured shortly after. He soon discovers that after he left, his tribe were also captured by the Colonel and his troops. Imprisoned alongside them, with an even larger human army arriving shortly, and with Woody Harrelson completely off his bonce, Caesar, his fellow prisoners, and the friends he left behind somehow have to devise a plan of escape before every ape is destroyed...



If you liked the first two, then the chances are high that you'll love this one. The special effects are superb, it has an actual story and features characters with believable motives. Obviously linking up to the previous couple of films, it also manages to add a couple of things that cleverly tie in to the original 1968 movie.

Although the film is called War for the Planet of the Apes, truth be told there's not actually that much in the way of outright war. Battle For the Planet of the Apes would have probably been a more suitable title, but that one had already been taken. That's not to say it's dull though. It's not. It just doesn't have guns, bombs and big bangs going off every five minutes.

There's not much room for laughs either, with really only Bad Ape (voiced by Steve Zahn) giving you something to laugh at every now and again. But again, it's not a depressing film, it just has a very serious tone. That said, the soldier's helmet with "Bedtime for Bonzo" written on it, and the "Ape-ocalypse Now" tunnel graffiti did make me chuckle.

Known mainly for being "that bloke in the computer suit, Andy Serkis puts in another superb performance as Caesar, and considering she has a virtually silent role, Amiah Miller, who plays the little girl, is also extremely good. However, it's Zahn's Bad Ape, who comes closest to stealing Serkis's thunder.

4.5 Fists

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Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:09 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
THE MUMMY

A miscast Tom Cruise attempts to bluff his way through a role seemingly written for someone a lot younger in this first of Universal's "Dark Universe" series. Unfortunately, not even Cruise's boyish grin, twinkly eyes, and perpetual need to run after things can save him here as he surely puts in one of the worst performances of his entire career.

Forget the story. It's a nonsense. Something about a mummy, an ancient prophecy, and some zombie knights. Whatever. The thing you need to concentrate on here is Russell Crowe's incredible performance. Beginning in a reasonably restrained manner, in the blink of an eye, he suddenly becomes an evil cockney, lurching about his office like some kind of demented drug-addled Danny Dyer. Pure, unadulterated comedy gold.

Leaning towards the action/adventure tone of the Brendan Fraser films while inexplicably stealing scenes from An American Werewolf in London, this latest, contemporary version of The Mummy fails to reproduce even half the wit and charm of either, and pretty much ruins the memory of everything it tries to emulate.

Considering its large budget, The CGI is surprisingly awful. A horrible mish-mash of badly rendered green screen work, and computer effects which look like they were created in the mid-late nineties. The separating irises trick was done better in TV show The Exorcist last year, and the water effects in The Abyss were better too, and that was released in 1989.

So, Cruise grins, runs, drives, flies, rides horses, gets shot at, and gets his shirt off again, but still spends most of the film looking as baffled as everyone else unfortunate enough to be watching.

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Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:01 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Ive heard the new Apes recycles way too many movie moments. e.g Apocalypse Now, The Great Escape, The Searchers etc.

Watching Kong Skull Island. These guys love Apocalypse Now too!

Rewatched American Gangster the other night. Wasnt much better the second time. Has its moments and the actors are good but it feels too derivative to rave about. 6.5/10

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Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:08 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Oh yeah, there's a massive Apocalypse Now vibe during WFTPOTA. Doesn't make it any less excellent though.

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Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:01 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Kong: Skull Island 5/10

The Driver (rewatch): 7/10

Synecdoche New York (rewatch): 5/10

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Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:38 pm
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