Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue -


Shit, got carried away there. Carry on.


I like that it neither glamourised nor demonised the business, but showed it in a more depressing, pathetic light. Odd ending, too.

Pocahontas (Disney).

Fucking hell, it's a bit dull. The bairn seems to like it and that's all that matters.

2 Native American cliches.

You should watch The New World instead

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I saw The Godfather Part II in the cinema last night. I still think it's the best of the trio, and I'd go as far as to say miles better than the other two.

Nah GF 1 edges it. But still my 2 favourite films of all time.

Watched The Magic Flute, a Mozart opera by Ingmar Bergman. Was tough goin. Some of the singers had nice tits. I don't think that's what Ingmar had in mind for me to take from this, but that's the way it is.

Would you have let them play your magic flute?

Aye any time, but they're not allowed to sing.

If they can sing they aren't playing it right

Tim Burton is remaking Dumbo

Johnny depends as?

With the exception of Big Fish and Frankenweenie, Burton hasn't done anything worth talking about for donkeys years.

The proposed Beetlejuice sequel is the one I'm wary of. I love the original, and I think Keaton will be brilliant, but I don't know if Burton can do something worthy of the name anymore.

My kids live Charlie and the c chocolate factory, poor fuckers.

I hope you have explained that Willie Wonker is a big old paedo.

Watching the Naked Gun films again. On 2.5 now. Childish humour which a bit like Carry On hasn't aged that well, but still quite funny in parts.

Mr poopy pants

Johnny Depp to voice one of the crows in the style of Uncle Remus from 'Songs Of The South'.

Some great lines in there.

Exodus: Gods And Kings - Looked amazing but was a pretty average remake of The Ten Commandments. Decent effects, that's about it. Rushed through everything. Meh.

Unbroken - Nothing you haven't seen before in any/every prisoner-of-war film ever. Even more meh.

Big Fish was boring as fuck. I'd take Charlie and his chocolates over that any friggin' day!

Big Fish was great you numpty. Charlie and the kiddie fiddler was fucking shit.

Testify, brother Wretch.

Watched The Equaliser last night. It was alright, actually. About what you'd expect with Denzel Washington essentially playing the same character as in Man On Fire. Worth a look.