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 Film Thread VI 
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Arnie's low budge 'dramatic' zombie flick:


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Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:40 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
A. Maze. Balls!!!

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Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:05 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Actually looks pretty good.
Expectations have been lifted accordingly.



MONSTERS: DARK CONTINENT

Or alternatively, American Sniper Monsters.
Or Zero Dark Monsters.
Or Black Monsters Down.
Or Three Mon.... Well, you get the idea.

I have to be honest. I didn't really like Monsters. I understand it was a character piece set against a backdrop of monsters, that it had a fairly low budget so there wasn't going to be a massive amount of monster action, but it still left me thinking, "is that it?" The one part I did love was how watching the beginning of the film straight after the ending turned the whole thing on its head, and a story with a happy ending suddenly became a far more downbeat one. That, and a few scattered moments of quality here and there convinced me that if a sequel were ever to be made, it would be one worth checking out.

Not for the first time, it turned out I was spectacularly wrong.

Monsters: Dark Continent is a war film set in the Middle East. It's about a group of friends from Detroit who join the army so they have a story to tell. It's about how innocence gets destroyed in a hail of bullets. And it's a story about the loss of life, limbs, and hope.
It is not, however, a story about monsters.

It does have monsters in it, but they're kept to the background for the most part, marching like a herd of tentacled elephants not really doing a lot. There are some horsey type monsters this time too, but they do very little either. In fact, it seems that the monsters are only there to show that they're not actually deliberately aggressive and that they have feelings too. There's probably some subtext about the war, but I really couldn't be arsed to delve that deeply.
The special effects for the Goliaths (as it appears they have been named) are quite brilliant, but it's a shame they're only on screen for a few minutes and only do two or three things of note. The monster vs dog fight and the spores scene are two very brief highlights.

If all the monster moments were removed from M:DC, you'd actually be left with a perfectly serviceable war film. Nothing award winning or even that good, but certainly something better than this. The two hour running time is completely unnecessary, there's a real "seen this all before" vibe to the non-monstery parts, and it features probably the most out-of-place and gratuitous sex/sex party ever. Seriously. It's like the director had a part time gig shooting porn and somehow got the two films mixed up.


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Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:08 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
That review just makes me want to see it!

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Thu Mar 26, 2015 4:20 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
It does sound a good one.

That Arnie film looks like it would be your typical Arnie film but they've manage to cut the trailer to make it look something totally different.

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80s Bronson from Cannon. You know what you're going to get.
No idea why they thought it would be a good idea to have the girl constantly come out with stupid childish insults, I doubt Charles found it funny at all. 3 Fists

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Scorsese doing a funny remake of Goodfellas based on stock brokers. Down to the voice over style, the freeze frame stuff and the main character talking to the camera.
Quite a weird one in that the first two thirds are played for laughs and then it takes an unexpected serious turn.

Highlights Mad Max on the phone, as this is exactly how we would act in the shop I used to work in when someone would have the absolute fucking cheek to phone when we were trying to have our lunch or something.
Both scenes involving qualudes are funny as fuck. Make me wish I was around in the 60s to sample these, although not in the same quantity as depicted in the film.

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Enjoyed this but can't decide if I think it's actually a pile of shite or not.
It's surreal to me to see Scarlet Johansson walking about Buchanan Galleries and driving up Sauchiehall Street talking to Glasgow bams.

Would have loved to have seen how they pitched the idea for this one to her.
"So you're an alien Scarlet and you're going to drive round Glasgow talking to bams for quite a while"
"what's Scotland like"
"well it's pretty depressing and cold but we'll provide you with rolls an square sausage and a bottle of Irn Bru for breakfast every morning"
"I'm in"

There's also no need for her to end up up north either, other than the director to go "look Scotland has big hills and mountains"

I read that the guys she gets into the van aren't actors but were just people on the street that didn't know what was going on. I find that to be utter bullshit. For a start the minute they open their mouths to talk Scarlet wouldn't be able to understand a fuckin word of what they were saying to be able to reply back.

But fair play to her cause she a fair amount of nude scenes and she's no exactly in hollywood shape in it.


Thu Mar 26, 2015 10:05 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
WATP wrote:
Enjoyed this but can't decide if I think it's actually a pile of shite or not.

It's a pile of shite.
Pretentious, unintelligible shite.

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Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:23 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
http://bcove.me/cv0jopa4

Nah, I prefer it how it ended...


Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:45 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Spiny Norman wrote:
It's a pile of shite. Pretentious shite.

This description, but applied to The Wolf Of Wall Street. And American Hustler, frankly.


Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:47 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Amen brother Sol.


Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:15 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
What's pretentious about Wolf of Wall Street, it's as text book Scorsese as it gets.


Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:44 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
WATP wrote:
What's pretentious about Wolf of Wall Street, it's as text book Scorsese as it gets.

Latter day Scorsese is fucking gash.

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Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:26 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Essentially. The last decent film he made was The Aviator (maybe The Departed, though I don't count remakes), before that you have to go back to Casino.


Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:29 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
I loved TWOWS but agree 100% that the last decent film he did was The Aviator, and before that, Casino.

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Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:38 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
John Wick- While it's completely ridiculous I would say it's a step above a lot of the post Taken action films that we've had over the last 5 years. It looks quite nice in parts and the fight scenes are actually coherent.

it won't linger in the memory but it was enjoyable while it was on, for that reason it's the definition of a 3/5 film.

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Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:24 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
^

Worthwhile and enjoyable but ultimately forgettable.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 3:04 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Solaris wrote:
Essentially. The last decent film he made was The Aviator (maybe The Departed, though I don't count remakes), before that you have to go back to Casino.


The Aviator is dull as fuck.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 4:31 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Always thought that Bringing out the Dead was really underrated, one of the few decent Nic Cage films.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:29 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
It's pretty good yeah.

Bringing Out The Dead and Wolf Of Wall Street are his best post-Casino efforts.

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Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:30 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Watched Mommy the other night. It was good, but I don't feel I quite connected with it. It had it's moments though, a few really nice montages in there.

Last night the lcoal film society was showing Broken, so I went along. I was surprised by just how much of 'my kind of film' it was. Really liked it a lot.

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Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:50 am
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Post Re: Film Thread Episode VI: Return Of The Film Thread
Mommy is much better than the other crap i've seen from that kid, but I wasn't blown away.

He is still young though, he still has time to develop.

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