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 Film Thread VI 
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Day of the Dead: Bloodline.
(2018)

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When there are no more ideas in hell, remakes will walk the earth.

The second remake of George A Romero's 1985 finale to his original zombie trilogy (and possibly also a sequel to the needless direct to DVD sequel Day of the Dead 2: Contagium) Bloodline is actually the least terrible of all the spin-offs the original movie has spawned. The 2008 remake featured running zombies, ceiling zombies, vegetarian zombies, some kind of magic shotgun, and being kind to it, was inexcusably fucking awful.

Ten years on from that abomination, and it's time for another low budget zombie film (this time filmed in Bulgaria) where you basically spend most of the running time waiting for everyone to die. And to be honest, it doesn't take too long. Beginning in a hospital which could conceivably be the one from Contagium, a sexy female intern escapes a zombie outbreak and ends up in a military installation not too dissimilar to the one in the proper DOTD.

Housing plenty of civilian survivors as well as soldiers, the installation is run by less than sympathetic captain Salazar (although why they named him after one of the good guys in the original, rather than the actual baddie, Captain Rhodes, is a mystery). Returning to her former hospital for supplies, the sexy doc stumbles across a creepy former patient who looks to have half-survived being turned into a zombie.

Looking like a zombie version of Rammstein vocalist Till Lindemann (and disappointingly called Max rather than Bub), this particular zombie type thing has somehow managed to regain a level of basic intelligence. Hitching a ride back to the base, zombie Till begins a second outbreak, and after discovering that he might actually contain the elusive antibody which could destroy the entire zombie virus, pretty much everyone who isn't young and/or pretty dies screaming and covered in CGI blood.

Yes, it's a bad film where zombies are called "Rotters" and run like Phoebe in that episode of Friends, and some people seem to inexplicably explode when bitten. But it's also better than the other examples of undead excrement attached to the original, and arguably better than both of Romero's last two zombie films (the disappointing Diary of the Dead, and the abysmal Survival of the Dead). Although that's probably because there was zero level of expectation for this one.

2 Fists

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Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:21 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017): A costume drama disguised as a thriller. Pretty damn dull film. Branagh's ridiculous handlebar moustache suggests that it should have been a farce. Now THAT could have been interesting. As it stands, it's a dreary remake that's utterly pointless and feels longer than it actually is. 2/5

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Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:57 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
The Man From Deep River (AKA Deep River Savages).

Some photographer ends up going deep river after accidentally killing a guy in self-defence in a Thailand bar, only to end up in the capture of a tribe of cannibals who are at war with another tribe. After a gruelling torture session, he ends up as part of the tribe and married to one of the native ladies. She dies in childbirth, he saves the tribe from an attack by the other tribe and that's pretty much it. There's also a lot of tits and ass and some rather unpleasant animal death.

3 Fists.

Eaten Alive (1980).

Some lass goes into the jungle to rescue her sister from a cult who are also being attacked by cannibals or something. It doesn't really matter as it's another line in tits and ass as well as unpleasant animal death (poor crocodile). The guy who played the photographer in Man From Deep River plays the cult leader in this, and it's pretty much like Jonestown with the consumption of human flesh. Not too bad, I guess...

3 Fists.

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Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:59 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
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The Blob (1958)

Steve McQueen looked suitably embarrassed as a 28 year old playing a teen, but otherwise, good silly b-movie fun! The special effects are awful, which makes this movie wonderful.

4 fists

I also have the 1988 remake to watch.

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Tue Apr 24, 2018 1:34 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Anyone seen that A Quiet Place film thingy yet?

All the critics are going bonkers.....

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Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:20 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
If critics are raving about a modern horror film, chances are it is average at best. e.g IT etc

The best horrors tend to be hated by critics in their time. Even Halloween got bad reviews initially. If bourgeois critics love horror it is usually because it's weak sauce.

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Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:46 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Stat_Rad wrote:
If critics are raving about a modern horror film, chances are it is average at best. e.g IT etc

The best horrors tend to be hated by critics in their time. Even Halloween got bad reviews initially. If bourgeois critics love horror it is usually because it's weak sauce.

The Thing, too. Widely regarded as Carpenter's best film now.

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Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:36 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Paris Chrome wrote:
Anyone seen that A Quiet Place film thingy yet?

All the critics are going bonkers.....

I haven't but I know a few people who have.

The most negative comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".
The most positive comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".

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Tue Apr 24, 2018 10:45 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
^^The only rave I heard was from a guy that isn't really into horror.

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Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:49 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
The Big Country (1958)

Fine western. I'm not really a fan of Gregory Peck but I think he acted really well in this one.


Wed May 02, 2018 3:08 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
ROOM IN ROME.

2.5 fists

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Thu May 03, 2018 3:27 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Recently watched The Dark Tower (2/5), Black Panther (3.5/5) and Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets (3/5).

The Dark Tower was pretty poor, not sure how well it relates to the source material as I've only read The Gunslinger and that was about 30 years ago, but it was a mess, tonally and performance-wise.

Black Panther was alright but certainly not worth the hype. Very Thor.

Valerian looked great, but Besson really should stay away from sci fi, all fun is leeched out of it by terrible script, performances and direction. It's all about the visuals and even though it's CGI-dependant, it still looked better than The Fifth Element's clunky rubber suits. Rihanna can and must eternally fuck off, though.

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Thu May 03, 2018 3:47 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
At the risk of sounding like a massive racist, I'm sure a percentage of the massively positive feedback for Black Panther came from people afraid to be overly harsh about it. It's a good, solid Marvel film, but nowhere near as good as the likes of Civil War, Winter Soldier, Avengers Assemble, or Ragnarok.
3.5 Fists is right.

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Thu May 03, 2018 7:26 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I'm sure Black Panther is as terminally bland and uninteresting as the rest of the films pumped out of Marvel's sausage factory.

All rewatches:

The Doors: The Cult of Jim. 3/5. Just.

Husbands: 4/5

Dick Tracy: still one of the best comic book films ever. not identikit artless Marvel bullshit. 4/5

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Thu May 03, 2018 10:06 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Spiny Norman wrote:
At the risk of sounding like a massive racist, I'm sure a percentage of the massively positive feedback for Black Panther came from people afraid to be overly harsh about it. It's a good, solid Marvel film, but nowhere near as good as the likes of Civil War, Winter Soldier, Avengers Assemble, or Ragnarok.
3.5 Fists is right.


I thought it was alright: The bit where it all went a bit "James Bond" annoyed me and was unnecessary. Ultimately, I thought it lacked the depth of the other Marvel films/characters. Overall, I'd give it a 3/5.

I saw Infinity War on Monday, which I thought was good: I love Thanos as a character as you can almost understand his reasoning, if not agree with it.

I'm not a huge fan of massive battle scenes (except that brutal one in Game of Thrones) and thought the individual, Greek tragedy set pieces were the best parts.

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Thu May 03, 2018 10:42 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Cuchulainn wrote:
Received a memory stick with the Star Wars Despecialized Editions over the weekend. They look absolutely brilliant, I don't have to put up with all the shit changes Lucas made over the years, and can enjoy these films the way I saw them at the cinema. All the fucking fists. Highly recommended.

I've actually bought these on eBay, received them in the post today. I could have downloaded them but it's nice to have proper versions on BR, and the combination of options and extras made them irresistible. Paid stupid money but, just from flicking through them earlier, it was totally worth it. Looking forward to watching them, might do Star Wars before bed.

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Thu May 03, 2018 11:48 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Watched Cobra again last night. It might have been the weed but I'd now give the film 3 Fists for the violence which seemed nice and brutal.

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Fri May 04, 2018 12:55 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Solaris wrote:
Cuchulainn wrote:
Received a memory stick with the Star Wars Despecialized Editions over the weekend. They look absolutely brilliant, I don't have to put up with all the shit changes Lucas made over the years, and can enjoy these films the way I saw them at the cinema. All the fucking fists. Highly recommended.

I've actually bought these on eBay, received them in the post today. I could have downloaded them but it's nice to have proper versions on BR, and the combination of options and extras made them irresistible. Paid stupid money but, just from flicking through them earlier, it was totally worth it. Looking forward to watching them, might do Star Wars before bed.

I just have the bare-bones movies. Which suits me fine as I've seen all the other shit on various formats over the years. Still wouldn't mind a BD burn if anyone's up to it

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Sat May 05, 2018 9:44 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I don't have a BR burner, sorry.

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Sat May 05, 2018 10:14 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Stat_Rad wrote:
Dick Tracy: still one of the best comic book films ever. not identikit artless Marvel bullshit. 4/5



Big thumbs up...!

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