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 Film Thread VI 
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Exorcist: The Beginning and Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist.

Erm...the kindest things I can say is that Stellan Skarsgard tried his best and that Dominion was the better of the two thanks to some unsettling moments and decent pacing and direction. But neither should really have been made.

Two Fists.

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Five puke-stained, shit eating fists!!!

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Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:17 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Triggmartyr wrote:
Exorcist: The Beginning and Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist.

Erm...the kindest things I can say is that Stellan Skarsgard tried his best and that Dominion was the better of the two thanks to some unsettling moments and decent pacing and direction. But neither should really have been made.

Two Fists.

They're two different edits of the same film, aren't they? Not sure which one I've seen, but it wasn't very good.

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Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:48 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
No. They are completely different films that share a few scenes.

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Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:18 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Two-Lane Blacktop: better than Easy Rider. Gets better the more I see it. 8/10

Halloween (2007): Time has not improved it. 4.5/10

Streets of Fire: Good, but Pare was a poor choice for the lead. 6/10

Happy End: Haneke should retire. 4/10

Wiener-Dog: Solondz should also retire 4/10

Death Wish (2018): has its moments. 5.5 or 6/10

Pee Wee's Big Holiday: 6/10

Arrival: overrated as hell. 5/10

I, Daniel Blake: Sound politics, average film making. 6/10

Wonder Wheel: Allen's best looking film in decades, but the story is only so-so. 5.5/10

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Sun Jun 24, 2018 7:05 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Stat_Rad wrote:

Wiener-Dog: Solondz should also retire 4/10




Dude, did you get a chance to see Life During Wartime, the "sequel/not sequel" to Happiness?

Curious as to what someone else thought of it....

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Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:33 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Yeh I did. It was ordinary. Better than Wiener Dog though.

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Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:07 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Yeah, I'd rate it a smidgen above "ordinary".

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Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:52 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Just seen 'A Quiet Place'. 4\5

Finally something good in a theme since '28 Days\Week Later' and 10 Cloverfield Lane.

Done 'True Detective' Season 2. Enjoyed. Like that this is different strory with another perspective compare with Season 1. Personages more like ordinary people, which is good. But I dont like forced ending in it.

Season one is better as the whole special story.

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Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:01 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Spiny Norman wrote:
Paris Chrome wrote:
Anyone seen that A Quiet Place film thingy yet?

All the critics are going bonkers.....

I haven't but I know a few people who have.

The most negative comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".
The most positive comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".

I finally saw it a few weeks ago.

Yeah, it's okay.

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:58 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Ready Player One: Weak as piss. Surprisingly ugly too. Spielberg has lost his touch for sure. Between this and BFG, he is done making event films.

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:59 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Having read that Clint Walker, the star of Snowbeast, died a few weeks ago, the first thing that popped into my mind was ITV showing that film one Saturday night sometime around 1982, followed by similar monster flick Grizzly the following week. Being only around ten years old, the thirty second adverts for the films made as much of an impression on me as the films themselves, so I decided to recreate the early eighties and watched the both of them.

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Made for TV, SNOWBEAST (1977) is just your common or garden Jaws knock-off but set on the snowy mountains of Colarado instead. After a woman goes missing on the slopes, a ski patrolman enlists the help of a former Olympic skiier (Bo Svenson), and the town Sheriff (Walker) to try and find the creature.

Becoming more brazen and aggressive, the creature attacks the town's winter pageant, and the three masculine heroes with flared trousers and haircuts of the day set off in a camper van along with Svenson's wife (Yvette Mimieux, who went onto star in Disney's underrated sci-fi movie, The Black Hole) to kill it.

The parallels to Jaws are as plentiful as money for the budget was meagre. The creature itself is basically a man in a rubber mask and an extremely thick fur coat. However, thankfully due to most of the action being viewed via monster POV, you only get to see the creature in all its "glory" for a few seconds.

The acting and script are passable, and because it was made for TV, the film is virtually bloodless. A splash here and there, but most of the time the screen just turns a vivid red immediately after (or sometimes during) a death scene, signifying an advertisement break. The personal nostalgia factor makes me mark this one higher than it has any right to be, so just deduct a couple of marks for a more unbiased rating.
3 Fists

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Although still a reasonably low budget affair, the opening shots filmed from a helicopter immediately show GRIZZLY to be a hundred times more cinematic than its snowy TV cousin. Again, just your basic Jaws rip-off, the story has an out of control 15ft high Grizzly tearing up local campers until the very Quint, Brodie, and Hooper trio of pilot/Vietnam veteran Andrew Prine (V, The Town that Dreaded Sundown), bear expert Richard Jaeckel (Salvage 1, Baywatch), and town Sheriff Christopher George (Enter the Ninja, Day of the Animals) travel into the hills to save the day. There's even time for a USS Indianapolis style campfire story to keep Jaws firmly in mind.

Much gorier than Snowbeast, faces are slashed, arms and legs are pulled off, and people are crushed and battered to death by the hairy beast. Kept off screen for the first hour, the film suffers a little in its final third when the bear is shown as often as possible. Now, as big and scary as bears might be, the sight of a big lolloping furry thing clearly enjoying itself running through the countryside does tend to reduce the horror somewhat. So by the time the brilliantly seventies bazooka-assisted finale comes along, you actually feel quite sorry for the bear. Something the film makers seemed to acknowledge themselves as they deliberately up the monster ante near the end by having it attack a small child playing with his cutesy pet rabbit.

Overall, Grizzly does its job well and is never dull. There's one amusing continuity issue featuring a miraculously self-repairing wooden shack, but otherwise it's just an enjoyable seventies creature feature with some implied nudity.
3.5 Fists


And just in case you want even more furry monster action, both films have been remade in the last few years. Snowbeast was released in 2011, stars Bo Duke from The Dukes of Hazzard (what is it with Bo's and Snowbeast?) and a man in an ever-so-slightly more convincing costume, and is largely terrible. Meanwhile, Grizzly, after going through a number of name changes (Red Machine, Endangered, Grizzly) eventually became Into the Grizzly Maze, and stars James Marsden (X-Men, Westworld), Thomas Jane (Deep Blue Sea, The Mist, Boogie Nights), Scott Glenn (Daredevil, The Silence of the Lambs), and Billy Bob Thornton (Fargo TV series, Armageddon) and is actually really quite good.

Grizzly also spawned an as yet unreleased sequel. Filmed in 1983, Grizzly II: the Concert is available on Youtube in its unfinished form, and features appearances by a very young Laura Dern and George Clooney.

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Post Re: Film Thread VI
KICK-ASS

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Quicksilver from Avengers Age of Ultron) plays a geeky teenager who decides he wants to become a superhero. After a couple of false starts, he calls himself Kick-Ass and becomes an internet sensation after being filmed fighting off a bunch of thugs. He's soon approached by an actual crime-fighting duo - an eleven year old girl called "Hit-Girl" (Chloe Grace Moretz), and her dad, "Big Daddy" (Nicolas Cage). When the amazingly athletic and equally dangerous Hit-Girl and Big Daddy take down a mobster's crew, Kick-Ass gets the blame and mob boss Mark Strong (Kingsman, Grimsby) sends in his equally geeky son (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) to go undercover as a superhero in an attempt to kill Kick-Ass. All of this while Kick-Ass tries keeping his identity secret from his two best friends (one of whom is played coincidentally by Evan Peters - Quicksilver in X-Men Apocalypse) and pretending to be gay so he can get close to the girl he fancies.

After several people told me the film was total rubbish, I've avoided watching this for the last eight years, but now I know those people are clearly fools. Kick-Ass is brilliant. Everything an extremely violent, gory, funny film about superheroes which doesn't feature any actual superheroes should be.
4 Fists


KICK-ASS 2

After informing the internet that I'd recently watched Kick-Ass, a funny thing happened. Everyone I knew who had seen the sequel told me the same thing. "Do not watch Kick-Ass 2."

So obviously I did.

I really should have listened to them this time. The sequel basically becomes everything the original film tried to subvert, basically existing as a standard superhero film but adding a few more characters. As you would expect, the sequel works on a bigger scale with a team of stupidly named heroes doing battle with a team of stupidly named villains, but everything that was great about the original gets completely lost, and all that's left is a charmless cash-in which even Jim Carrey regrets being a part of.

2 Fists

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:03 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I've been meaning to watch Grizzly sometime this week. Good timing!

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:04 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
One of my all-time favourite '70s monster flicks.

Oh, and I agree that Ready Player One is absolute arse.
Funny thing. While I was watching it, I was positive I recognised some of the locations. Turns out I did. Quite a lot of the external footage was shot in Digbeth, Birmingham, right where I usually park to visit a couple of regular gig venues.










MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY
aka Stranded in Dinosaurus Valley
aka Amazonas
aka Cannibal Ferox 2
(1985)

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While ploughing my way through a ton of '70s/'80s cannibal movies a few months back, I somehow managed to miss this little hidden treat. Set in Brazil, MIDV is a film of three clearly defined acts. The first takes place in a hotel and introduces Kevin the all-american hero (Michael Sopkiw from '80s Jaws rip-off 'Devouring Waves') the almost permanently naked/semi-naked final girl, Eva (Suzane Carvalho from tits and prison film 'Women in Fury'), her beardy scientist father, and a load of other patently expendable types. The second segment includes one of the best aeroplane crashes to feature a 12" model plane being thrown into some mud, plus a a load of fighting, screaming, and running through the jungle, while the final third centres around escaping from a fat, rapey villain.

Getting more ridiculous and baffling as it goes on, the whole thing is a runaway train of gratuitous nudity, awful acting (the aeroplane crash is particularly memorable), and confusing geography (a fistfight in a secluded pool suddenly changes to an entirely different location). Piranhas, leeches, lesbians, cheap rubber crocodiles, conveniently helpful pigs, limitless and magic ammunition, a cannibal chief with a green rubber claw for a hand all make Massacre in Dinosaur Valley terrible in every way. So obviously, I loved it.

"You know what you are? You're a fat smelly evil bastard".

3.5 Fists



BLASTFIGHTER
(1984)

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Originally written to be (and even sold to prospective distributors as) a post-apocalyptic remake/rip-off of Mad Max, in the end, the magnificently titled BLASTFIGHTER merely became a direct to VHS cross between First Blood and Deliverance.

After serving eight years in prison for murdering his wife's killer, one of those "best goddamn cop in the whole damn precinct" types, Jake "Tiger" Sharp (Michael Sopkiw from Massacre in Dinosaur Valley) is hired to kill the bent lawyer who put him away using a massive, brand new state of the art SPAS-12 shotgun - Blastfighter. In a time when big guns and fancy gadgets ruled the world, Blastfighter is perfect. Armour-piercing bullets, fire bullets, exploding grenade bullets - you name it, Blastfighter probably shoots it.

Refusing to kill his intended target, Sharp buggers off to the country for some peace and quiet where he also refuses to shoot a deer and subsequently decides to hide his gun away as it's clear that he'll never need to use it again. Unfortunately, a bunch of local redneck poachers annoy Sharp by trying to kill all the deer in his neck of the woods, selling the not-quite-dead-yet animals for some dodgy medical research. Unhappy with his attempts to get them to stop, the rednecks cut the brake cables on Sharp's car, and even kill the cute baby deer he's rescued by slitting its throat while he's out shopping. The bastards.

After some amusing revenge of his own, Sharp eventually takes his grievances to the rednecks' boss, Tom (George Eastman from legendary video nasty Anthropophagous - The Beast) - an old friend of his, but who also happens to be the brother of the lead redneck. Meanwhile, it turns out that Sharp has a long lost daughter who - looking a lot older than the sixteen years she claims to be - turns up just in time to get to know her father before being inconveniently raped and killed by Tom's hillbilly friends.

With only half an hour of its running time left, it doesn't take a genius to work out what happens next. After a wonderful bit of overacting, Sharp runs back to his cabin, abseiling down mountains and avoiding the helicopter from Magnum PI along the way, and breaks out his trusty Blastfighter, loading it with ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING.

The last thirty minutes is an eighties violence-fetishist's dream. Cars explode, buildings explode, people explode, arms and legs come off, revenge is meted out to anyone who looks like they could be a baddie, and there's a classic stand-off between the two main rivals. Marvellous stuff, really.

More commonly known for his two classic Demons gorefests, Blastfighter was directed by Lamberto Bava, and as well as including an appearance by Italian actor/director Michele Soavi (Stage Fright) and a vehicular nod to The Evil Dead, also amusingly features the EXACT same soundtrack (written by Zombie Flesh Eaters composer Fabio Frizzi) as Massacre in Dinosaur Valley. Well, apart from the godawful country song (originally written by the Bee Gees) that keeps appearing at regular intervals.
Seriously, I hate that fucking song now.
3.5 Fists

This.
Every ten minutes.






DEVOURING WAVES
aka Monster Shark
aka Devil Fish
aka Red Ocean
aka Jaws Attack 2
(1984)


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Pre-dating the now legendary Sharktopus by over twenty-five years, this straight to VHS Italian classic was the first film to dare to feature a genetically created hybrid between shark and octopus. Star of Massacre in Dinosaur Valley and Blastfighter, Michael Sokpiw plays a marine biologist who teams up with a research scientist, a sexy dolphin trainer (Valentine Monnier from 2019 - After the Fall of New York) and a local Sheriff to fight off a big rubber sea monster which has taken to eating the legs off divers, sailors, and swimmers in the area.

Directed by Lamberto Bava (Demons, Demons 2) under the pseudonym of "John Old Jr" (as he did with Blastfighter), there's actually very little monster action due to obvious budgetary constraints, and so spends most of its time either on boats, labs, offices, or bathrooms. In the end, we're left with some kind of big business conspiracy film where an evil corporation creates a near-indestructible sea creature capable of duplicating itself indefinitely. For profit. Somehow.

There's loads of wonderfully bad dubbing and overacting, some needless exposition, scientific explanations about dinosaurs, confused expressions, monster POV shots, a swarthy hit man, and also one of the best offers of an olive ever.

2.5 Fists

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:09 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I figured RP1 might have been your type of film, at least in theory anyway, but it's so damn dull isn't it?

I don't recall seeing a film as busy as that that was completely uneventful in quite some time.

Spielberg can still make good serious films, but he should leave the blockbusters to younger directors.

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:21 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Oh look, here's an endless succession of amusing pop culture, sci-fi and horror references. That should help people forgive the boring action sequences, dull script, and uninteresting characters.

No.

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:24 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
^^^Exactly. Fuck it!

Now I'm off to watch Grizzly

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Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:25 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Paris Chrome wrote:
Anyone seen that A Quiet Place film thingy yet?


Yes.

Spiny Norman wrote:
The most negative comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".
The most positive comment about it was, "yeah, it's okay".


Balls.

So far this is the apocaliptical movies that I like a lot:

1. A Quiet Place (2018)* \ John Krasinski
2. Hostile (2018) \ Mathieu Turi
3. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) \ Dan Trachtenberg
4. 28 Days Later (2002) \ Danny Boyle
5. 28 Weeks Later (2007) \ Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
6. The Road (2009) \ John Hillcoat
7. Life (2017) \ Daniel Espinosa
8. Mother! (2017)** \ Darren Aronofsky.

*
Quote:
A QUIET PLACE is an extraordinary piece of work. Terrific acting, but the main thing is the SILENCE, and how it makes the camera's eye open wide in a way few movies manage.
- Stephen King.

** apocalypse in terms of destroying everything and start again. Nice mix of form and sense!

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Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:09 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
A Quiet Place is meh. A good premise, but so full of holes it could be marketed as a swiss cheese.
No amount of Stephen King quotes will change this. With the exception of The Lawnmower Man, and The Shining, the man praises absolutely everything.
Oh, and Donald Trump. He HATES Trump.

10 Cloverfield Lane is great until the last fifteen minutes when it suddenly becomes massively shit.

28 Days Later is hugely overrated.

28 Weeks Later is just rubbish.



You haven't watched any post-apocalypse films until you've seen 1990: Bronx Warriors, Endgame, Damnation Alley, Cherry 2000, Cyborg, Steel Dawn, Future Hunters, Equalizer 2000, or 2019: After the Fall of New York.

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Last edited by Spiny Norman on Thu Jul 19, 2018 8:01 am, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:14 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
I wouldn't trust King's opinion on film at all. or novels.

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Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:46 pm
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