You know this whole thing about people actually being their avatars.....

I'm off to bed before the "Meanwhile in Triggerland" jokes start, if they haven't already...

If you qouted everyone who you'd reply to as Dave I'd do a little glee wee.

You were always shit at scrying. I regret nothing.

My oracle is sick so I had to borrow one at short notice.

Ted buys a Harley. the seller tells him, "whenever it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it wont rust."And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline. That night,his girlfriend takes him to meet her parents. so they take the bike. But just before they go in, she says:" i have to tell you when we eat,we don't talk. in fact the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes, ok he sa...ys. they sit down and no one says a word. as dinner goes on, Ted decides to test the situation. so he reaches over and grabs her boob.nobody says a word. so he stands up,rips her clothes off, and does her right there,in front of her parents. but no one says a word. so he grabs the mom, bends her over the table and nails her,then sits down. but still total silence. all of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.Ted remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... suddenly the father shouts:I'll DO the Fucking dishes!!!

Love that^

In addition to my newly-discovered lifelong issue with the word "Scandinavia", a while ago I cracked the solo to 'Forever Failure' and like a stupid cunt I thought 'Nah, I'll remember that, no need to write it down'...

A very good friend of mine has been studying ludicrously hard and getting a bit stressed out about a vitally important exam she has coming up. I was fully intending to send her a supportive and encouraging message on the morning of said exam to hopefully help motivate her into kicking its arse, but I've just discovered that I've "lost" a day due to the bank holiday on Monday and I've completely missed the whole thing.

I feel like a real shitheel now.

You cuntgrease scrotefelch, you are worse than Hitler.

Worse than Richard Littlejohn.

Worse than Christopher Lilicrap.

For our monthly health a safety audit at work this month we were sent out a list with jobs foir us all to do with out initials next to the tasks we had to do. Some of them had an M next to then so they must be Mick's jobs I though and I for Ian's, R for Ron's tasks and so on. Then I came to a load of jobs that had an L next to them. Who works here whose name begins with an L I thought. it took me five whole minutes to work out that it was me.

Was one of the jobs "remember your own name"?

I ran the tap for 2 minutes today, wondering all the while why the water wasn't getting warmer. It was the cold tap.

^ Yay, I don't feel quite so stupid now.


It really should be, I can't even say that this is the first time something like that has happened.

Sorry for the thread necomancy but this seemed like the most appropriate place to post.

Since moving into my house in 2012 I have been baffled by the house opposite mine. It is a semi detatched house that is side on to mine. From my front bedroom I can see through a window on the side of the house. I can see all the way through to the other side of the building and to the building next to it. But it's a semi-detatched, so surely I cannot see all the way through the house on the other side of it?
It's been bugging me for ages.
Only this week did I realise that I have been looking into a mirror on the wall opposite the side window and the house I saw was actually a reflection of my own.

I don't have the best luck with reflections.

That's classic Lee, brilliant! Haha.