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 The 'I am a dumb shit sometimes' thread 
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
You know this whole thing about people actually being their avatars.....

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Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:00 am
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Star Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
I'm off to bed before the "Meanwhile in Triggerland" jokes start, if they haven't already...

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Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:16 am
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
If you qouted everyone who you'd reply to as Dave I'd do a little glee wee.

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Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:28 am
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
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I am sensing a shame faced apology tomorrow.


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Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:17 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
My oracle is sick so I had to borrow one at short notice.


Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:19 pm
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Super Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Ted buys a Harley. the seller tells him, "whenever it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it wont rust."And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline. That night,his girlfriend takes him to meet her parents. so they take the bike. But just before they go in, she says:" i have to tell you when we eat,we don't talk. in fact the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes, ok he sa...ys. they sit down and no one says a word. as dinner goes on, Ted decides to test the situation. so he reaches over and grabs her boob.nobody says a word. so he stands up,rips her clothes off, and does her right there,in front of her parents. but no one says a word. so he grabs the mom, bends her over the table and nails her,then sits down. but still total silence. all of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.Ted remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... suddenly the father shouts:I'll DO the Fucking dishes!!!

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Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:21 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Love that^

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Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:32 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
hostilesteve wrote:
Ted buys a Harley. the seller tells him, "whenever it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it wont rust."And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline. That night,his girlfriend takes him to meet her parents. so they take the bike. But just before they go in, she says:" i have to tell you when we eat,we don't talk. in fact the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes, ok he sa...ys. they sit down and no one says a word. as dinner goes on, Ted decides to test the situation. so he reaches over and grabs her boob.nobody says a word. so he stands up,rips her clothes off, and does her right there,in front of her parents. but no one says a word. so he grabs the mom, bends her over the table and nails her,then sits down. but still total silence. all of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.Ted remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... suddenly the father shouts:I'll DO the Fucking dishes!!!

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1927&start=0&hilit=shit+joke

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Fri Mar 02, 2012 4:50 am
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Storm Trooper
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
In addition to my newly-discovered lifelong issue with the word "Scandinavia", a while ago I cracked the solo to 'Forever Failure' and like a stupid cunt I thought 'Nah, I'll remember that, no need to write it down'...

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Sun Apr 08, 2012 1:04 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
A very good friend of mine has been studying ludicrously hard and getting a bit stressed out about a vitally important exam she has coming up. I was fully intending to send her a supportive and encouraging message on the morning of said exam to hopefully help motivate her into kicking its arse, but I've just discovered that I've "lost" a day due to the bank holiday on Monday and I've completely missed the whole thing.

I feel like a real shitheel now.

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Wed May 09, 2012 1:27 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
You cuntgrease scrotefelch, you are worse than Hitler.


Wed May 09, 2012 6:24 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Worse than Richard Littlejohn.

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Katherine Legge wrote:
Termoid wrote:
If you could be any other forum member apart from yourself who would you be and why?

You, because i have always wondered what it would feel like to get run-over by a bus.


Fri May 11, 2012 9:38 am
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Worse than Christopher Lilicrap.

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Fri May 11, 2012 2:11 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
For our monthly health a safety audit at work this month we were sent out a list with jobs foir us all to do with out initials next to the tasks we had to do. Some of them had an M next to then so they must be Mick's jobs I though and I for Ian's, R for Ron's tasks and so on. Then I came to a load of jobs that had an L next to them. Who works here whose name begins with an L I thought. it took me five whole minutes to work out that it was me.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:18 pm
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Darth Fucking Vader
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
:lol:

Was one of the jobs "remember your own name"?


Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:21 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
I ran the tap for 2 minutes today, wondering all the while why the water wasn't getting warmer. It was the cold tap.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 11:02 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
^ Yay, I don't feel quite so stupid now.
robitusson wrote:
:lol:

Was one of the jobs "remember your own name"?


It really should be, I can't even say that this is the first time something like that has happened.

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Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:10 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Sorry for the thread necomancy but this seemed like the most appropriate place to post.

Since moving into my house in 2012 I have been baffled by the house opposite mine. It is a semi detatched house that is side on to mine. From my front bedroom I can see through a window on the side of the house. I can see all the way through to the other side of the building and to the building next to it. But it's a semi-detatched, so surely I cannot see all the way through the house on the other side of it?
It's been bugging me for ages.
Only this week did I realise that I have been looking into a mirror on the wall opposite the side window and the house I saw was actually a reflection of my own.

I don't have the best luck with reflections.

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Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:41 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
That's classic Lee, brilliant! Haha.

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Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:37 pm
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Post Re: the 'i am a dumb shit sometimes' thread
Necrolee wrote:
Sorry for the thread necomancy but this seemed like the most appropriate place to post.

Since moving into my house in 2012 I have been baffled by the house opposite mine. It is a semi detatched house that is side on to mine. From my front bedroom I can see through a window on the side of the house. I can see all the way through to the other side of the building and to the building next to it. But it's a semi-detatched, so surely I cannot see all the way through the house on the other side of it?
It's been bugging me for ages.
Only this week did I realise that I have been looking into a mirror on the wall opposite the side window and the house I saw was actually a reflection of my own.

I don't have the best luck with reflections.


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Wed Jul 23, 2014 12:09 am
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