I'm working through them now. Watching 4 tonight. They really are naff. Entertaining, but naff.

The naffness just makes them better.


That series is dying for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. So much material to work with...

I'm glad at least someone agrees!

4, 5 and 6 are when they actually get pretty good(ish)

I actually really liked the last F&F.

I don't think I'd seen any since 2, and even then I don't remember it. But it did make me want to go back and work my way through them all. I didn't like... but I did think about it.

The first three are a bit shit, but they start becoming action films rather than racing films at 4.

5 and 6 are just brilliant.

Fucks sake, I'm already doing stuff on Friday.

I saw The Duke Of Burgundy last night, I thought it was decent if not quite worth the great reviews it's been getting.

3/5

I was pretty keen to see that one, but I have a feeling I might have missed it now.

I watched The Better Angles this morning and loved it.

Stat if you like you'r modern B&W films as I seem to remember you saying, this is definitely one to seek out.

I watched the porn parody The F*ck & The Furious. Not much of a plot though. Just finished watching Series 1 & 2 of Life On Mars from a box-set somebody chucked out. This is actually very good! Also made me want to listen to Uriah Heep.

Just like the actual films then. I imagine the acting was of a similar standard too.



Hell yes. Great show. Fuck the yank version.

Didnt even know theres a yank version! Cant imagine it working.

It works for other yanks.

The Yank version had Harvey Keitel as Gene Hunt.

I've never been curious enough to watch it. The yank version of Shameless was unwatchable, so I've decided to tar all yank remakes with the same brush. I believe that that's both the big and the clever thing to do.

I decided that sometime in my teens, possibly without having watched any. It is big, clever, hard and it makes you look cool.

Fifty Shades of Grey

A couple of years ago, two mercifully short paragraphs were all I needed to tell me that the hype surrounding Fifty Shades was nothing to do with the writing. After ploughing on heroically for two whole pages, I finally decided enough was enough and did what probably every male left in close proximity to the book has done at one time or another - skipped to the naughty bits.
Now, while some of it was definitely quite saucy, most of the time the action seemed to centre around lip-biting and an "inner goddess". Suffice to say the novelty wore off very quickly, the book went straight back onto the wife's bedside cabinet, and I prayed that after the hype had died down, that would be the end of it.
It was about a week later when the announcement came that it was being adapted for cinema release.

So, here we are two years later and the film is finally out. And the most shocking part of the whole thing? It's not as bad as I'd imagined. Yes, it's bad, but it's bad on a level where you can play along with it and have some fun. For example, the scene at the beginning where Anastasia interviews Christian Grey is so much funnier if you replace Jamie Dornan with the Anthony Hopkins version of Hannibal Lecter. There's also a brilliant moment when Anastasia finds Christian playing a classical piece of music at the piano. "What's it called?", she asks, and all I could see at that moment was Nigel Tufnel from Spinal Tap looking up at her and saying, "Lick My Love Pump".

There's little to no story, no drama as such, and the performances are only as good as the script allows (Dakota Johnson doesn't help matters by spending the first part of the film pausing and stammering like an American version of Hugh Grant), but it only becomes boring for a few minutes at a time, and you can always distract yourself by counting the amount of times lips are bitten and pencils are rubbed erotically against lips. You can also spend the dull moments counting how many times Ana and Christian call each other by their christian names (anyone familiar with the Jack and Rose Titanic game will enjoy this), and wondering exactly what line of business Christian Grey is actually in. Something to do with food, possibly? Whatever it is, it's certainly something which requires generic threats like, "well, tell them they don't have 24 hours!"

There's quite a bit of nudity involved, but the sex scenes don't really feature anything too racy. In fact, Grey only uses rope, restraints, a riding crop, his hand and a blindfold, making it every bit as vanilla as I'd imagined it would be. There's certainly nothing in it to warrant the recent outpouring of hatred on social media. No, this is a typically safe Hollywood film, always very aware that it should always show the female in control even though she's meant to be submissive.
I must say the lack of any type of ending irritated me, meaning that the whole film acts as nothing but a trailer to the next one. That wouldn't be so bad, but much like the latest entry in the Hunger Games series, there's so little substance in this one that it makes you wonder if another film is even worth bothering with.

3 Fists

I saw that movie. It was a waste of time, and money.

Average film, no worse than thousands of others I could mention.

Well, if we're delving to these depths...

Cheating Housewives

Aurora Snow plays a lonely housewife in this short film depicting the plight of a young lady trapped in a marriage in which she is not fulfilled by her absent husband. The film begins with our star being assisted with her shopping bags back to her car by a kind gentleman from the local supermarket, and with the tension in the room building she invites him to stay to talk as her husband is away on vacation, and she suspects him of infidelity.

The plot heats up as she seduces him, and what unfolds is a plot entwined with twists and turns, thrusting from dialogue to steamy action the likes of which have not been seen since her last film. Her co-star, who no one cares what his name is, depicts the sensitive shop assistant role he was born to play, but it is Aurora's performance as the story unfolds which captures the audience's imagination.

Overall, a novel depiction of female equality and the right of women to have their own sexual lives depicted not merely at the beck and call of men. Possibly this film could be considered feminist in the same way as the women's right movement, or even walking in front of the King's race horse in order to get the vote.

5 Fingers.