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 Film Thread VI 
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Just hired Papillon remake: (Oh its the Bo-Rap guy)

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Mon Jul 22, 2019 2:29 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Colin040 wrote:
Taxi Driver - I enjoyed the first hour of the movie or so a lot and was prepared for some bleak as shit drama but as the movie took a thriller-ish turn I got rather bored.



But you did watch it to the end right?

Try watching it again. I've seen it several times. Enjoy it every time. I find it so much more drama than thriller.

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Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:38 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
After seeing the trailer for the new Jay & Silent Bob movie, I revisited both Mallrats and Dogma:

Mallrats.

Directors cut which has slightly new scenes and dialogue, also gives a new reason for TS and Brandi splitting thanks to events in the new opening sequence. Doesn't seem to advance or enhance the film much, and seems a bit pointless. Mind, the film itself has dated horribly and is easily the worst one out of that whole "View Askewniverse" thing that Smith had going. Some of the jokes are funny and the Dating Game sequence is great, but the movie does rely a bit too much on the "who can help us? Hey, they're over there!" trope of introducing characters.

2 Fists, possibly stinkpalmed with chocolate pretzels.

Dogma.

Still fantastic and not as dated as Mallrats. Alan Rickman was class, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were cool, and so was Chris Rock. Linda Fiorentino was good too, funny how she just vanished. Not sure they could make this kind of movie these days due to too many people having a propensity to get offended too easily, especially religious nuts.

4 Fists.

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Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:57 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Disagree about Mallrats. The director's cut isn't good because it's sluggishly paced, but it isn't the worst film of that universe, not by a long shot. Chasing Amy is the film that hasn't stood up. Mallrats is a real time capsule film. Captures something about American youth culture of that time. An attitude or 'spirit', if you will.

You really shouldn't have watched the director's cut. It's much worse than the theatrical cut. The jokes don't land nearly as well because the editing is awful. Universal made the right decision recutting the film.

Dogma = bites off more than it can chew. It's entertaining, but Smith doesn't have the chops to really pull off a film like that 100%.

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Sat Jul 27, 2019 5:27 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Kevin Smith is a cunt. I'll leave it at that.

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Sat Jul 27, 2019 2:51 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Friend gave me this DVD. Not into 'desert' (except for Iconoclasm In The 4th Desert) but I will watch it!

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Sun Jul 28, 2019 3:31 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Christine: Rebel Without a Cause meets Halloween, and one of the few King film adaptations worth bothering with. Carpenter did it on assignment, but it's a visually striking film with great camera work. Lost count of the amount of times I've seen it over the years, but it's very rewatchable, like most Carpenter films from his prime period. Gordon is very good in the lead role, and the car transformation scenes still impress, despite being done simply by reversing footage.

7 or 7.5/10

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Mon Jul 29, 2019 12:39 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Since Rutger Hauer's death last week, I've been revisiting some of his films.

Welcome to Rutgerfest...


WEDLOCK
(1991)
Rutger plays a computer genius diamond thief. Double crossed by his two partners (the not as pretty as I remember Joan Chen, and James Remar from Dexter), he ends up in a maximum security prison run by the not very scary Stephen Tobolowsky (Groundhog Day).

Riffing on the exploding neck bombs from The Running Man, each inmate is forced to wear "wedlock" bracelets around their necks, each one linked to an unknown partner. If the partner tries to escape, and goes further than 100 yards away, the bracelets arm, and kaboom. Two dead prisoners.

Secretly in cahoots with Rutger's former partners, Toboloswky helps engineer an escape for the thief with the floppy haircut, in the hope that he leads them to his hidden stash. Tom Cruise's first wife, Mimi Rogers, plays Rutger's wedlock partner and the pair bicker their way through a cheaply made sci-fi actioner where futuristic computers look like they were obsolete back in the eighties.
3 Fists.



BLIND FURY
(1989)

Playing a Vietnam vet this time, Rutger is blinded in action and rescued by the occupants of a nearby village who train him to heighten his other senses so he can use a sword like a fucking jedi master.

Returning to the States twenty years later, the seemingly ageless Rutger visits his old best friend (Terry O'Quinn). He isn't home, but his wife is, and just as she (the extremely green eyed Meg Foster) is starting to explain things, Randall "Tex" Cobb (Fletch Lives, Raising Arizona) and a bunch of heavies break in and kill her, leaving Rutger in charge of Hobie from Baywatch.

As Rutger tries to track down his old friend to give him his annoying son back, lots of people get stabbed and killed with sharp things, other people get shot, and old ladies get mugged, but it's all done with a wink, a grin, a silly facial expression and a jaunty eighties theme tune so everything's perfectly fine and it's all a bit A-Team really.
3 Fists



A BREED APART
(1984)

Basically Rambo saves the eagles, Rutger plays a reclusive mountain man who lives on a small island and looks after the nesting eagles there. Powers Boothe plays a rock climber hired by nasty Donald Pleasance (who gets all of about five minutes screen time) to steal two rare eggs so he can complete his collection.

The story here is incidental. The real fun comes when you find out the film was released with one whole reel of footage missing. Instead of calling the actors back in for reshoots, the producers decided to just patch things up, edit around the missing parts and hope that nobody noticed.

Everybody noticed. Story threads and characters appear and disappear randomly, the best one being the sexy journalist who tries to get information out of Powers by sleeping with him. Powers does the dirty on her and she runs to her boss who tells her she has "three days to get the story" before he promptly disappears from the film never to be seen again. The journalist herself then does a disappearing act for forty-five minutes, suddenly turning up in the final reel to be humiliated by Rutger and Powers (yeah, they became friends) before inexplicably going off for some more nookie with Powers.

It's all a bit of a mess with Vietnam flashbacks that never happen, and a family backstory explained in less than convincing detail, but somehow still fun, and it even features Kathleen Turner in her first role after becoming super-famous in Romancing the Stone.
3 Fists


FLESH AND BLOOD
(1985)

Tits and swords "epic" set in Western Europe in the 16th century where everyone talks with American (who cast New Yorker Bruno Kirby in this ffs?) or English accents.

The story is largely irrelevant here as director Paul Verhoeven (Robocop) simply likes to show as much sex and violence as possible, sometimes at the expense of all sense and logic.

Rutger plays the leader of a band of mercenaries. After winning a castle, he and his men are double crossed by the king who takes their weapons and sends them away. Obviously, they don't like that so they attack him and inadvertently end up kidnapping Jennifer Jason Leigh, the sort of girlfriend of the king's son. Rutger gets rapey with her but she's a naughty sort and enjoys it.

The king's son vows revenge, then everybody else vows revenge, Leigh falls in love with Rutger, Leigh double crosses Rutger, the king is nearly killed, the king's son is nearly killed, and then the plague arrives and everyone is nearly killed. Apart from Rutger, because apparently he's immune somehow.

Anyway, there's lots of sex, lots of bad acting, lots of fighting, and lots of boobs. The nasty nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark (Ronald Lacey) turns up as a stabby priest, and Murphy's death scene in Robocop is given a dry run but with bows and arrows.
2 Fists.

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Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:34 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Mostly bad choices.

Try Turkish Delight, Ladyhawke or Soldier of Orange (Verhoeven).

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Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:11 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Oh, I know they're bad choices. I've seen them before, years ago. No fun in watching genuinely good Rutger films (apart from Blade Runner and The Hitcher, obviously).

Got Ladyhawke ready to go (never did see that one tbh) along with Salute of the Jugger, and Wanted: Dead or Alive. Might also try Surviving the Game, and Hemoglobin. Already did Split Second a few weeks ago.

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Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:37 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Surviving is bad but watchable. I've been meaning to revisit Wanted Dead or Alive and Split Second all year.

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Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:10 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
The last Rutger Hauer film I saw was Fatherland and it was fucking awful. Shame, as it had a great premis and Miranda Richardson would get it.

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Sat Aug 03, 2019 7:52 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Fatherland was OK, the book was fantastic. Flesh & Blood was a favourite of my young, horny teen self but Blade Runner is obviously where it's at.

I have never seen The Hitcher. True story.

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Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:47 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
RUTGERFEST II:


LADYHAWKE
(1985)
A genuine contender for the worst music score ever, the 1980s Hooked on Classics soundtrack to Ladyhawke is so completely incompatible with the swords and sorcery rompage on display that it hurts. Epic, sweeping shots of hilltop vistas, mountains, castles and soaring birds of prey are backed up with bouncy disco beats and blippy synthesisers and it's just wrong.

Take the infernal music away, and you're actually left with a pretty serviceable fantasy flick about an annoying pickpocket called Mouse (Matthew Broderick having difficulty in choosing which accent to use), rescued by a hero type who is Rutger Hauer by day and a wolf by night, and his girlfriend who is Michelle Pfeiffer by night, and a hawk by day.

Cursed by a nasty old bishop, Rutger returns to break the spell so he and the Pfieffer can actually be with each other properly and live happily ever after. I'm not giving anything away, but it's a PG rated film, so obviously he does. The three main actors all do their jobs well, backed by Leo McKern (Rumpole of the Bailey) and a massive, prancing black horse called Goliath.

Clocking in a two hours, it's at least twenty minutes too long, and definitely drags in places, but overall it's not a bad little film from director Richard Donner, who would have much greater success the same year with The Goonies.
3 Fists


SALUTE OF THE JUGGER
aka The Blood of Heroes
(1989)
In what is probably best described as Mad Max meets the NFL, Rutger plays the leader of a sports team who travel from desert settlement to desert settlement, challenging teams to "The Game", which basically involves two sets of players kicking the shit out of each other while one of them tries to plant a dog skull onto a pointy stick.

The winners (let's face it - it's always Rutger's lot) get to keep the dog skull as a trophy, showing how many teams they have beaten, but the area is ruled by the brilliantly named "Lord Vile" (Hugh Keays-Byrne - The Toecutter from the original Mad Max), a sports overlord who constantly sends his nasties out to retrieve "tributes" from Jugging teams. Deciding the best way to actually keep their earnings, Rutger's team head off to Lord Vile's place so they can take on a league team and gain fortune and glory or something.

Not much goes on for the first hour apart from some team bonding (a new member joins and has to prove her worth), some attempts at explaining the rules, and the occasional game, but the film goes up a gear into proper sports movie territory for the showdown between one-eyed Hauer and his team of vagabonds, and the properly trained, fitter and stronger bad guy team (who aren't actually all that villainous to be honest - there's honour in Jugging, you know).

From just a bunch of wandering around the desert, the last twenty minutes or so is pure Rocky where you don't care about the story, or what the rules are, you just want Rutger's team to win.
So do they?
Of course they fucking do.
Rutger innit.

Keays-Byrne is excellent as the slimy Vile, the now almost as attractive as I remember Joan Chen (Wedlock) does a decent job getting her face punched in, and a younger, slimmer Vincent D'Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket, Daredevil) goes over the top in an attempt to get noticed by Hollywood. It worked.
3 Fists


THE HITCHER
(1986)
Unquestionably his finest leading role, The Hitcher is ninety minutes of prime Rutger as he sneers, smirks, and murders people while he terrorises a teenage motorist for no apparent reason.

After picking up a mysterious hitchhiker calling himself John Ryder, Jim Halsey (C Thomas Howell) immediately regrets his decision and throws him out of the car at the first available opportunity. Not taking this too well, Ryder tracks Halsey down, brutally and systematically killing virtually everyone he comes into contact with.

With the ghost-like Ryder's actions making it look like Halsey is the psychopath, the police are soon out in force to bring him in. Help comes unexpectedly from a roadside diner waitress called Nash (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who believes the tortured Halsey and tries to help clear his name. Let's just say this does not end well.

Perfectly crafted '80s violence.
If you haven't seen it, sort it.
4.5 Fists

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Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:12 am
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Just got this:

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Mon Aug 05, 2019 1:53 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
RUTGERFEST III - THE FINAL CHAPTER

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(1992)
Reduced to a supporting role this time, Rutger basically spends his time showing his fangs and floating around on badly hidden wires while wearing one of the most unoriginal vampire costumes ever created.

BtVS isn't appalling, but it's certainly bad enough to know that if I'd seen it when it first came out, I don't think I would have been half as interested in watching the TV show as I was. Donald Sutherland plays Merrick, a creepier version of Rupert Giles, Luke Perry is a shit love interest, and Buffy herself is played by Kristy Swanson who was at least seven years too old for the part.

With a running time of less than ninety minutes, the whole story feels rushed and disjointed, with no time to gain any emotional connection to any of the characters other than Buffy. Even Buffy's mum gets fewer than twenty seconds of screen time and is never mentioned again. David Arquette is probably the best character in the film, his transformation from annoying human to annoying vampire is fun, especially during the deliberate nod towards Salem's Lot.

Rutger doesn't even try with this is one, looking bored and embarrassed by the whole thing. The fact that these vampires don't dissolve or turn to ash isn't even addressed, and the only other things of note are appearances from Ben Affleck, Hilary Swank, Ricki Lake, Slash, and a pre-Oz Seth Green hidden under loads of bad vampire make-up.
2 Fists


Wanted: Dead or Alive
(1987)
Rutger plays a bounty hunter. Gene Simmons from Kiss plays a terrorist. Some shady cops played by TV butler Benson, and Deep Throat from The X-Files do shady cop things, and that's all you really need to know.
Oh, and that Rutger blows up Gene Simmons with a hand grenade at the end.
2 Fists


Surviving the Game
(1994)
Yet another adaptation of Richard Connell's The Most Dangerous Game, Surviving the Game is basically a quick knock-off of the previous year's Hard Target, except that disappointingly, at no point does Rutger Hauer ever punch a snake in the face.

However, as blatant a rip-off as it is, STG is actually quite a decent film. Ice-T plays a down and out offered a ton of cash to assist a group of hunters out in the wilderness. The only problem being, of course, that Sir Icey of T is actually the prey.

Made up of a surprisingly good cast, the film features Gary Busey (Predator 2, Point Break) before he went bonkers, John C McGinley (Scrubs, Highlander 2), F Murray Abraham (Star Trek Insurrection), Charles S Dutton (Alien 3), William McNamara (Copycat), and of course Rutger as the number one bad guy.

Always quality when he plays a 100% bonafide baddie, it's fun to see Rutger embracing his true villainous side by playing a character with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. A great performance in a decent - if completely clichéd and predictable - action film.
3 Fists

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Wed Aug 07, 2019 2:01 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
^^It actually went into production just before Hard Target hit theaters, so it was just a coincidence. They are quite similar though. The difference being of course is that Hard Target is a lot more fun and better made.

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Wed Aug 07, 2019 2:09 pm
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Post Re: Film Thread VI
Agreed. Hard Target and JCVD's epic mullet are much better made.

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